autumn truths
by tragicomedy
Summary: 'Someday' finally arrives, but Akira isn't sure he's ready to solve the mystery surrounding Hikaru.


"Do you remember…?"

Akira turns and watches as Hikaru appears to gather his thoughts. And perhaps the nerve to finally reveal the secret he's kept all these years. He stays silent, knowing he will speak when he's ready. He figures he's waited this long, a few more minutes can't hurt.

"Do you remember the time I skipped all my matches? When I stopped playing Go?" Hikaru eventually murmurs.

Akira laughs to himself. _Who could forget?_ But what comes out of his mouth is, "Of course." He knows now is not the time to joke, to make light of what Hikaru will tell him.

All these years, they'd known where the boundaries were and, while others thought they both stepped over them, they never did. Yell at each other they might, but they knew when to stop and take each other seriously.

And now was one of those times.

Hikaru releases a sigh, "Do you know today is the anniversary of the day I started playing again?" Akira cocks his head, wondering where this is going. Hikaru catches his eye and laughs softly. "You don't know where this is going, do you?"

Akira returns the laugh, feeling some of the tension he hadn't realised was present release from his body. "I have absolutely no idea. And if you don't hurry up, I might just leave."

Hikaru, still smiling softly, asks, "Do you know why I started playing again?"

"... Didn't Isumi-san visit you?"

"That's not the reason." Hikaru says, shaking his head. "Today is the anniversary of when I started playing again." Akira opens his mouth to interrupt, _'You've already said that!'_ he wants to say but is cut off when Hikaru continues, "I started playing again because I found out… Sai was in my Go all along."

_Sai?_

Akira is speechless with shock but Hikaru covers the silence as he continues, as if in a daze, as if Akira isn't there. "I spent so long looking for him, went all the way to Innoshima, you know. Covered all the places we went together, all the places he liked and he wasn't there. But it was because he was here in me all along."

Akira cannot resist the urge to interrupt any longer. "Sai? As in the internet player Sai?"

Hikaru continues to smile enigmatically, "Yes, _that_ Sai." He seems to lose his voice as he mutters, "Where do I start?"

"The beginning?" Akira suggests weakly.

"That first game we played," Hikaru starts and Akira thinks _'That's as good a place as any.'_ "I didn't play that first game with you. Sai did. Sai played all those first games."

While this admission answers a question that has been burning in his mind all these years, it unlocks so many others, including the one he finally utters, "And who is Sai?"

"A ghost." Hikaru says simply. He looks Akira directly in the eye, as if challenging him to say, _'You're lying.'_ When Akira makes no reply, again shocked speechless, he continues. "He taught me how to play. He…" Hikaru trails off.

There are hundreds, thousands of replies Akira could've uttered, some of the questions, some of them incredulous statements. But the words that escape his lips are, "And he's… gone?"

Akira can tell from the flinch on his face that this was one question Hikaru didn't want him to ask.

"He disappeared when I stopped playing. He disappeared because he couldn't play anymore. Because I was selfish." Hikaru practically spits out the last statement in disgust. "He was Shuusaku." he states.

"_Honinbou _Shuusaku_?_"

And it suddenly all makes sense to Akira. Why Hikaru seemed like two totally different players. Why Hikaru played like Shuusaku. Why he practically _worshipped_ Shuusaku.

The hundreds and thousands of questions are still burning in his mind, lingering on the tip of his tongue but as he watches Hikaru, he realises that none of them are important at the moment. Hikaru has opened the door and there is no need to hurry through it. He smiles and gestures to the goban sitting between them.

"Shall we celebrate with a game, then?"

Hikaru's eyes widen, face shocked before relaxing into a smile. He reaches into his go-ke to nigiri.

"Okay."


End file.
